Critical Reflections on “The Courage to Be Disliked” and Adlerian Psychology

Initial Impressions and Thematic Overview

As I began reading “The Courage to Be Disliked,” a book grounded in Alfred Adler’s psychology—blended with elements of stoicism and Greek philosophy—I found myself questioning many of the concepts presented. The book offers several insightful and practical ideas for leading a more meaningful life. However, the style in which these ideas are conveyed often struck me as contradictory and, at times, overly simplistic. This theme of simplicity is emphasized throughout the book, including the assertion that “life is simple.” Yet, I noticed that the pursuit of simplicity sometimes gives rise to contradictions within the text.

Exploring Contradictions and Key Arguments

One notable example of this is the chapter titled “Trauma does not exist.” The book presents Adler’s perspective as follows:

“Adler says: No experience is in itself a cause of our success or failure. We do not suffer from the shock of our experiences—the so-called trauma—but instead we make out of them whatever suits our purposes. We are not determined by our experiences, but the meaning we give them is self-determining.

He is not saying that the experience of a horrible calamity or abuse during childhood or other such incidents have no influence on forming a personality; their influences are strong. But the important thing is that nothing is actually determined by those influences. We determine our own lives according to the meaning we give to those past experiences. Your life is not something that someone gives you, but something you choose yourself, and you are the one who decides how you live.”

In this light, trauma does indeed exist; the author’s point is that trauma is not the determining factor in how we choose to live our lives. It is important to remember that this book represents an interpretation of Adlerian psychology, as it is not written by Adler himself. There are many possible ways to analyze and interpret books, research papers, or even individual ideas. My perspective is that, although the book aims for clarity and accessibility, the simplicity it advocates may only resonate with a select group—those who are “enlightened,” who have engaged in significant personal growth and inner work. For such individuals, life may indeed feel simpler, not because it is inherently simple, but because they have mastered their own psyche. Personally, I do not agree with the assertion that life is simple. Perhaps life itself is simple, but we as humans are complex; thus, we cannot experience life as simple until we are able to see it that way. The book’s emphasis on simplicity led me to reflect on the lifespans of major figures in psychology.

Psychological Thinkers and the Idea of Simplicity

Sigmund Freud 1856-1939 (83y)

Alfred Adler        1870-1937 (67y)

Carl Jung             1875-1961  (85y)

Carl Rogers        1902-1987  (85 y)

Victor Frankl      1905-1997  (92y)

Albert Ellis         1913-2007 (93y)

Aaron T. Beck    1921-2021 (100y)

Notably, only Adler advocated for the idea that life is simple and for “ignoring” the past, and he was also the youngest to die among these figures. According to information I found, Adler died of a heart attack, which may have been related to significant stress in his life, including the disappearance of his daughter. In contrast, Victor Frankl—who lived to be 92—wrote his most influential book, “Man’s Search for Meaning,” inspired by his harrowing experiences in a concentration camp. The other psychologists generally acknowledged suffering and used that understanding as a basis for developing theories, interventions, and practices. These have benefited not only themselves but also patients and people around the world, continuing to influence psychology today. Albert Ellis and Aaron Beck, who lived the longest, emphasized the connection between thoughts, beliefs, and emotions, and argued that well-being is improved by challenging and modifying irrational beliefs.

Personal Reflections on Simplicity and Human Complexity

I am left with the thought that attempting to make life artificially simple might actually encourage the suppression of emotions and thoughts, which could ultimately lead to more misery. I am not certain if this is what Adler himself practiced; I recognize the need to read his original works to better understand his thinking, rather than relying on interpretations.

My reflections are largely speculative, but this thought process has led me to a realization: it is impossible to avoid thinking about the past entirely. While becoming stuck in the past is unhelpful, I remain unconvinced by the argument that “the present” is all we have. One clear point of agreement among these influential psychologists is the significance of how we interpret and make sense of our personal stories—and I believe that is absolutely true.